The Road to Heaven is Paved With Bad Intentions
Yes, it works both ways. There is no "angelic express" to paradise. For your relationship to reach high places there needs to be ample space for the human tendencies toward negative intent. Couples (at least all those we have met) secretly hold dark intentions toward each other while simultaneously loving and wanting the best as well. If you pretend to be above the crassness of negative intentions then you will tend to enact them rather than acknowledge them. All forms of menticide will prevail. (its a word, look it up).
The willingness to admit, at least to yourself, and sometimes to your partner that you can be competitive, cruel, petty, hostile, and prone to focus on the worst in him/her, is a major step toward releasing those darker sensibilities and opening to true compassion. Bad intentions are held because we are all imperfect and in our imperfections we have limited vision. It can be difficult to see the best in your partner when you cannot see youself in the same light. There is a direct relationship between how much you reject yourself and how much negative intention you hold toward your partner.
To transcend our lower nature, we can only begin with the truth of the moment. To acknowledge your own self judgments as well as your criticisms of your partner begins the process of compassion building. What you judge, you disown. When you disown you grow weaker. Your strength lies in your embracing all aspects of your inner life. If you want to try a little tenderness first open up to those rough edges on the outskirts of your psyche where it gets a little sketchy. These are the places where heaven can be found.